Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
