just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
