he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
