Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
operation have a gay friend backfired
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
