and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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