so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize