so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
