I'm going to jail i love you
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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