Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Boobs speak an international language.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
