From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
