I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
