Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
