hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
