kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize