Christians are straight up FREAKS
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
