did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
birth control should be required to get into college
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
