stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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