Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
