We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
