i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
