I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize