Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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