Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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