You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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