goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You can't motorboat a personality
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You can't just leave with hair like that
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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