i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
