The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
