someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
