i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
