I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
