i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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