just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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