real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
