I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
4 words: hood of his car
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
