Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
