No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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