Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
