How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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