i just had sex bonerless
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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