You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
