porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
