That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i will never coherently bang her
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
