He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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