i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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