Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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