this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
