He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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