all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm at about main and main street
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
