We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
