I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
