I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
