it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
