just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
